Adults only
Sexy Dating Safety: Flirt with Confidence, Meet Sensibly
Good chemistry is easier to enjoy when you feel in charge. Here is how to keep it that way.
What you control on the site
These are the things you and other members can see for yourselves.
A username, not your name
Other members see your username. Your real name and email address stay hidden.
So a flirty conversation doesn’t have to follow you anywhere.
Your nearest town only
Your profile names the town or city closest to you, not your street and not a live pin.
People know roughly where you are, not where you live.
Block in a tap
Block a member and they can no longer contact you.
A “no thank you” is always allowed.
Report from inside
Report a profile or a message without leaving the site.
If something isn’t right, you can say so on the spot.
Meeting someone for the first time
- Talk first, on the site. A few conversations tell you a great deal, and the block and report tools are right there.
- Say what you both want. It’s easier to flirt when you have said out loud what you are, and aren’t, up for. Either of you can change your mind at any point.
- Make the first meeting public. A drink or a coffee somewhere busy. If the chemistry is real, it will still be there in an hour.
- Tell a friend. Send them the name, the place and the time, and message them when you’re home.
- Arrange your own way home. Don’t rely on someone you have just met for a lift.
- Keep your money and your pictures to yourself. Nobody worth meeting asks you for money or explicit photos before you have met.
Looking after your health at any age
Sexual health matters just as much after 50 as it did at 25. The NHS says sexual health clinics are open to everyone, whatever your age, gender or background, and that tests for sexually transmitted infections at those clinics cost nothing. You can also order a home test kit online.
Bring protection with you rather than assuming the other person will. If you notice anything unusual, see a GP or a sexual health clinic. Nobody there will be shocked.
Spotting a scam before it costs you
Romance scammers target people of every age, and they’re patient. The warning signs are familiar: someone who says they love you after a few days, who always has an excuse not to video call or meet, who asks you to keep the relationship secret, or who tells an emotional story that ends with a request for money. If any of that sounds familiar, stop replying and report the profile.
Don’t hand over money, gift cards or bank details to a person you have never met face to face. Our longer guide, romance scams for singles over 40, walks through what the official bodies recommend.
Answers on staying in control
What can other members see about me?
Your username and photos, your profile and the town or city nearest to you. Other members never see your real name, email address or street address.
How do I stop someone contacting me?
Block them. They can no longer contact you. You can also report the profile or a message from inside the site.
Is it safe to meet someone from a dating site?
It can be, if you take sensible steps: talk first on the site, meet somewhere public, tell a friend where you’ll be, arrange your own transport and never send money to someone you haven’t met.